What's in a Word: All That

Any one I've betaed for knows I'm highly critical of the word "that". Early on I had an editing program that counted "that", "was", and other words in my manuscript and compared the number to industry standards for the same word count. Know what I found out? That most "that" is not needed, or that replacing with another word strengthens the sentence.

Below, I'll use examples from my current work in progress, Consorts of the Red King:

There, in that moment, Van saw a vulnerability in Jorvik not seen since their first night together, when he’d been accosted by the guard.

What I decided on:

Van hadn’t witnessed such vulnerability in Jorvik since their first night together, when he’d been accosted by the guard. 


Example 2

Their only advantage was in being thought dead, though that also presented disadvantages.

Being thought dead gave them an advantage, but also a disadvantage. 

Example 3

The little part inside of him that needed safe haven wanted to believe they were wrong, that the man they’d served for over ten years hadn’t betrayed them, hadn’t tried to kill them.

The little part inside of him needing safe haven wanted to believe they were wrong. Surely the man they'd served for over ten years hadn't betrayed them, hadn't tried to kill them.  

Example 4

There was that matter.

Example 5

That could be either of them, or both. 

Who'd spoken? Tayn? Jorvik? Both?

Let's face it, sometimes "that" is necessary, but team up an editor who shouts, "No 'that'!" and my OCD, and you get a perfect storm of find and replace. There are still many instances of "that" in the book, but not in every sentence. 

I'm sure readers will thank me for that. Oops! There I do again!