I'm a simple woman at heart, and like simple things. Whenever my family members tell me I'm hard to buy presents for, I merely remind them of these four things that make my world so much better:
1) Decaf dark roast coffee
2) Audible codes
3) Dark chocolate (bonus if it has peppers or ginger)
4) Bath bombs
I grew up with the occasional bubble bath, graduated to bath oil, dabbled in making my own for a while, then ordered exotic soaps online. Finally, a few years ago, I discovered bath bombs. Oh, happy day!
About that time I married and moved into my husband's house, complete with ginormous garden tub. (No, I didn't marry him for the tub, that's just a rumor.)
Anyway, nothing relaxes me more at the end of the day than a nice, long soak while listening to an audio book. Last week a new shipment of bath bombs arrived (I buy them in the 42-pack), and this time there were some new ones I hadn't seen before.
Like the green one, labeled "Balance." Now, I've had a few bad bath bomb experiences, like the glitter bomb from Hell, and the one loaded with lavender. Actual lavender. Nothing floating in the bathwater, please. But the moment I saw this innocent-looking green sphere, I should have been on my guard.
Now this wasn't just any old green. It was dark green, almost black. Okay, well, they wouldn't have put in in a bath bomb to contact skin if it wasn't safe, right?
I unwrapped it, tossed it into the tub, started my audio book and prepared to soak. Dark plumes of what looked like smoke snaked through the water, the embodiment of evil (okay, I'm a writer and might be prone to exaggeration).
It had to be safe, right? I mean, if it was as dangerous as it appeared buyers would be screaming to the company, wouldn't they?
I relaxed, listening to my book. Then lifted my arm. Oh, damn. What was that? And on my leg! And, and...
On the sides of the tub. Basically everywhere. Hell, how'd it get on the floor? I soaked for thirty minutes, scrubbed the tub for forty, and hope the stain fades from my skin by the time I return to work on Tuesday.
I look like Abe Sapien from Hell Boy!
At least it smelled nice.